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6 Steps to Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs

  • Dec 22, 2014
  • 5 min read

This article is written by a guest blogger, Charles Gosset. Charles is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC, ELI-MP) and founder of Full Integration Coaching, an organization that works with individuals and organizations to create long-lasting, sustainable change from the inside out. Charles received his coach training from the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), the most comprehensive Accredited Coach Training Program in the industry. His passion is helping people to overcome the limitations that are holding them back, giving them the clarity they need to reimagine the possibilities for their life, and empowering them to take charge of their future. To learn more, visit www.fullintegrationcoaching.com

The focus: Limiting beliefs can get in the way of our goals and dreams. The opportunity: It doesn't have to be this way. The solution: You can challenge your beliefs and choose ones that support you.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE To a large extent, we are what we believe. That's because our beliefs play a central role in the choices that we make on a daily basis. And the choices that we make on a daily basis become habits over time, which then become our character and finally our destiny. As the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu famously said:

"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." Beliefs are really just thoughts - thoughts that we have accepted as being true, correct, or right. For every belief that we have, there was a period in time that we accepted certain ideas as being true. Once we accepted those ideas as true, then we developed a belief. Over time, our beliefs often bury themselves in our subconscious minds where they quietly guide our actions for years at a time. This can be tremendously beneficial for us, when our beliefs are serving us well. It can also be extremely destructive for us when our beliefs are causing us pain and problems in ways we're not consciously aware of. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? Each one of us has inherited and adopted a variety of belief systems that make up our own unique worldview. Often, our beliefs actually come from outside of ourselves and were handed down to us from parents, grandparents, partners, friends, co-workers, and others. It's wonderful when these beliefs serve us well and add valuable perspective and experience to our lives. Many times, though, the beliefs that we have taken on are no longer serving us well and we aren't able to recognize where the trouble is coming from. Whether these destructive beliefs come from others or from within our own minds, they all have one thing in common: they limit us in some way. LIMITING BELIEFS A limiting belief is something that you accept about life, about yourself, about your world, or about the people in it, that limits you in some way. Here are some examples of common limiting beliefs: » If I show my emotions, everyone will think I'm weak. » The only way to get ahead is to fight my way to the top. » I can't trust others to do what they say they will do. » If I ever become successful I will lose it all quickly. » This world is never fair to good people. » It doesn't really matter what I think. » I don't deserve to be happier than I am now. You might be able to see how these beliefs could put limits on what we think is possible for us. If I truly believe that whenever I show my emotions others will think I'm weak, then I will deny or bury my emotions until they finally overwhelm me. If I can't trust others to do what they say they will do, then I'm constantly suspicious of others or taking care of their responsibilities for them. If I don't believe that I deserve to be happier than I am now, then I may be settling when I could be soaring. STRATEGIES FOR BUILDING BETTER BELIEFS It can seem like a daunting task to try to change some of these beliefs. But, there are steps you can take that will effectively replace those limiting beliefs with more empowering and supportive beliefs starting now! 1. DISCOVER YOUR OWN LIMITING BELIEFS. The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is to identify the ones that you have. Use the examples above as a guide to get you started. Try to list 5-10 beliefs you accept about yourself, life in general, or other people that limit you in some important way. Define how they limit you specifically. 2. TRACE YOUR BELIEFS TO THE SOURCE. Next, find out where you got each of your beliefs from. Did you think this belief up yourself? Did you inherit it from a parent, family member, partner, friend, etc.? How did you come to believe this? If you're not sure, keep the question in mind as you move on. 3. ASK YOURSELF IF THE BELIEF IS TRUE. Now it's time to find out if what you believe is actually true. Is it true for you? Is it true for others? How does this belief help you when you need to make the right choice (for you) about something? 4. STOP TAKING IT PERSONALLY. Try letting go of how you identify with your beliefs so that you can gain more perspective on them. Instead of saying, "I believe (something)..." try saying, "I notice that I believe (something)...." If you notice a belief then you are not taking it so personally. Because it is just something that you notice, it doesn't have as much power to define you. 5. DECIDE WHETHER IT'S WORTH IT. Once you've had a little time to define your limiting beliefs and see how they affect your life, then you need to decide if they are worth keeping. How does this belief really affect you? What would be different if you believed something else? What would it take for you to choose a new, more supportive and empowering belief? 6. REPLACE, REVIEW, AND REPEAT When you've decided that you have a limiting belief you're ready to get rid of, it's time to decide on some new beliefs that could be more supportive and empowering. To do this, list 3-5 new beliefs that could replace the old limiting belief. Ask yourself: Is it supportive? Is it empowering? Will it be effective for me? When will I use it? How will I use it? When you've answered these questions, try out your new beliefs and pay attention to when you use them. Ask yourself: What were the results? What did I like? What would I change? Would I use this belief again in this way? Finally, repeat this process over a period of time to see how your new beliefs are serving you. Celebrate your victories and enjoy a life you can believe in! This article originally appeared on fullintegrationcoaching.com. To learn more about overcoming your own limiting beliefs, please contact Charles to schedule a free 30 minute session to see if his coaching services are right for you. His email address is info@fullintegrationcoaching.com

 
 
 

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© 2014 by Sharissa Sebastian

'People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' - Maya Angelou

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